96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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