dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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