Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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