i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
