Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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