i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
