i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize