Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
