what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
