Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
