And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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