I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
