Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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