I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He has the fingertips of a God
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize