A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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