I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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