I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
