I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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