is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
