Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize