i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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