i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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