i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was like eating out sand paper
I cut my penus on the lid.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
