Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I want her autograph on my taint
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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