my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
