I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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