I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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