So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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