You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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