And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
