I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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