everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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