White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased