Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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