Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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