I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
