Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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