Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
