How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
