Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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