Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
