Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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