so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize