Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

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(386): her nipple to breast ratio was just odd http://tfl.nu/o8uo

Replies (20) Good night (977) Bad night (3556)
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(914): View more from New York

I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...

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(914): I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad... http://tfl.nu/rc76

Replies (47) Good night (814) Bad night (2945)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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(901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8

Replies (29) Good night (4372) Bad night (1034)
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(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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(513): You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god. (513): and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon. http://tfl.nu/ae2p

Replies (21) Good night (5620) Bad night (1184)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman

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(908): i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman http://tfl.nu/e120

Replies (21) Good night (4468) Bad night (2405)
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(618): View more from Illinois

You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

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(618): You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/feuh

Replies (9) Good night (5366) Bad night (1059)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

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(304): Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day. http://tfl.nu/phv5

Replies (4) Good night (2601) Bad night (1311)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later

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(717): check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later http://tfl.nu/adck

Replies (8) Good night (2622) Bad night (952)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?

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(217): Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/sask

Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (1889)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.

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(775): Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form. http://tfl.nu/2bqh

Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (622)
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(660): View more from Missouri

hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

(816): View more from Missouri

yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

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(660): hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv? (816): yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward http://tfl.nu/dn5c

Replies (12) Good night (1550) Bad night (513)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample

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(306): apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample http://tfl.nu/rtrx

Replies (6) Good night (1539) Bad night (458)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!

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(216): I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear! http://tfl.nu/zz62

Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (337)
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(630): View more from Illinois

oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

I NEED to hang out with you more

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(630): oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra. (1-630): I NEED to hang out with you more http://tfl.nu/k66v

Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (324)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.

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(219): Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time. http://tfl.nu/f7se

Replies (7) Good night (418) Bad night (765)

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