So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak