She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.