Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it