I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
