Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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