all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i now understand why vodka
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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