The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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