i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
