a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
