apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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