I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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