so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize