Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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