Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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