Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
