what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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