I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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