The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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